Hola amigos. Do you know what today is?
I'm assuming that you've counted every single day with me--rather than just reading the title--and are aware that it's been ONE WHOLE YEAR since my double jaw surgery.
It soo doesn't seem like it's been that long since I had the surgery, but at the same time it kinda feels like I've always looked the way I do now.
I mean, I can't even remember a lot of the things that used to bother me with my underbite.  The other night my brother mentioned me saying that only two of my teeth touched before the surgery and I was like, "Whoa. I totally forgot about all that kind of stuff."
Everything that other people took for granted while I was suffering, I now take for granted too.
It feels wrong. Buuuutttt, I'd rather be where I am now than where I was pre-surgery, so I'll get over it.

I realize that I haven't written a blog post since January, but I promise I tried! Sort of.
In February I attempted to venture into the huge, daunting world of vlogging for you guys. 
That was a failure.
So then I tried to edit it down to where it was just me doing stupid stuff by the time March rolled around, but deadlines and I are mortal enemies, so that was a failure as well.  But, school is out and I have nothing to do so I finally got around to editing that video.
I attempted to talk about surgery related things and about changes and whatnot--my usual blog stuff--but I couldn't even look at the camera right. So here's a bunch of stuff you can make fun of instead!
I'm fabulous, I know.

So, we've got five months to catch up on now!
Since I last wrote, I went to the orthodontist once and the oral surgeon once.
The orthodontist wasn't anything exciting, just a retainer check. But so you know, I am still famous among the patients there. Kinda. Okay, I'm honestly just a person the orthos point to and go, "See, she was hot terrible mess before and look at her now!" I'm there to reassure children, really.
Speaking of retainers though, this smartypants over here thought she'd be okay to just not wear hers for a week or two and now her teeth are falling out. Like, literally.
Forcing my teeth to fit back into my retainer every night after they shifted a considerable amount has made my front six teeth unnervingly loose and they hurt. Really, really, hurt.
But oh well, that's only multiple surgeries, endless pain, and thousands of dollars gone to waste. 
No big deal.
They taste terrible too!
Who knows, it might not have even been the retainer.
Recently I delved into the risky business of self whitening my teeth, which, while extremely successful, has left me with super sensitive teeth and visible imperfections. Thanks again, Crest!
But wait--I can't really blame Crest all that much.
The package does say the strips are not for people under 18 years old.
I don't care. At least my teeth will be white until they fall out.

Anyway, I went to see my oral surgeon for the last time a couple of months ago.
He didn't really have much to say, but he was probably just speechless. I mean, really. I have got to be some of his best work. I'm sure he was awestruck.

On a completely unrelated note (I've said before how hideous I am at transitions), senior pictures are coming up soon. I absolutely despise having professional pictures taken, but at least it won't be as bad as it would have been had I not had my surgery at this point. I really only bring this up because at some point between last January and now, I noticed that all the pictures my mom has of me around the house are terrifying and would probably cause mental scarring to any small child subjected to them. Really, Mom, I know you're reading this so... seriously could we do something about this?
One of them is my band picture from seventh grade, which is just... I don't know, sad, really. 
My underbite (which my band teacher repeatedly brought up as a reason why I would never be able to play flute--like really, band teacher. I wasn't insecure enough. Let's bring it up one more time. Please.) in addition to my general seventh grade awkwardness--out of control hair; ill fitting uniform; uhm, tuba--is just too, too much. It needs to go.
Second, there's the church pictures that they put in the directory for everyone to look at. Sadly enough, we picked out the best looking one and I'm still looking a mess. Maybe it's not as bad as the band picture, but this time I've got braces, my hair's still bad, my underbite and beak nose are worse, and now we've added an awkward pose with my brother. So. Cute.
Lastly (because the house can only handle three terrible pictures of me), there's my school yearbook picture from this year. It's the best of the three, but in a way it still manages to be the scariest. It's definitely what I would have chosen to be immortalized in the yearbook as. I am post-op at this point, but it's before I got my braces off, so I'm in the weird better-but-still-swollen-not-anywhere-close-to-normal-yet interim. My hair is still blond in the front which adds a lovely contrast to my forty pounds underweight, beyond emaciated looking frame and sallow skin. I'm. A. Beaut. My swollen lips next to my hollow cheeks and highly visible collar bone are an added bonus.
I really do wish I could go around to everyone that bought a year book and tape a recent picture of me over the one that's in there. 
But I can't, so those lucky viewers will get to remember this
as opposed to something like
or this
or my personal favorite
Yay for glamour shots!
But that's their loss. Oh well.

I guess I should say something somewhat pertinent to the actual surgery since this is the big one year post and all, but there's nothing you haven't read before.
I still can't feel the roof of my mouth, but you saw that in the video earlier.
Really, and I mean it, nothing has changed since January. That's partly why I haven't written anything.
My hair's longer. Seriously, I can't think of anything else to say.
Just look at my face.

BTDubbs, you can click on the pictures to make them bigger.


What the heck--go ahead and have a whole slideshow of me making stupid faces; they still look better than any of the pre-surgery pictures anyway.

And goodness knows I can't resist making a fool of myself, so I'll probably keep on adding stupid pictures as I find them, if you want to check back in a few days.
To close, I'll mention that my birthday is exactly a week from today...
I'm just saying that if any loving, caring friends of mine would like to bestow me with gifts then I wouldn't object. I mean, last year nobody cared because I was getting a new face for my birthday. "That was enough" apparently.

I'm just playing! Reading my last post was enough for me, I suppose. This year.
I love you guys! Thanks for putting up with me for a whole year talking about my surgery, my blog, my old face, my new face, your faces, faces in general, calves, beards; for dealing with me constantly spamming Twitter and Facebook with links to my blog; for still being my friend after I asked if you read my blog and you said no and I asked why and you said you never saw the links and I was like I ONLY POSTED A BAJILLION THOUSAND; for also being my friend if you said you did read my blog and I jumped on you, hugged you, and cried, and continued to routinely bring it up in conversation from then on out; for complying when I demanded, "TAKE A PICTURE OF ME," every five minutes for six months after I got my braces off; and, most importantly, for being there for me after my surgery and helping me adjust to my new self (and also for taking me down a notch when my ego gets too big). You guys are the best! I guess. Or something.
6/16/2012 02:06:43 pm

Can you please keep blogging/vlogging...you are hilarious! And entertaining, most people are boring writers. No idea you had a blog!...well up til now.

Morgan Jordan
6/16/2012 02:37:57 pm

I agree with audzzz. And by the way you model pose picture from the banquet is pretty freakin hot!

James Clay
6/16/2012 04:14:48 pm

I came, i saw, i was entertained. Good job!

8/8/2012 08:45:54 pm

I am visiting this site first time & it has awesome information. I have come to know a lot of information after visiting this site. Keep this sort of posting in future as well.....


Leave a Reply.