Today I put on clothes.

I slept until noon and probably wouldn't have woken up then if my mom hadn't come and talked to me.
I'm not sure if today was just going to be a bad day anyway or if the sleeping put me over the edge, but it's been rough.  I had a bad headache, my jaw was aching, and the place where they cut me under my nose was actually hurting.  Needless to say, I happily took some lortab.

I'm running low on said lortab so my mom called the surgeon and he got me a refill.  And that refill was for pills.  Yes, pills!  No more liquid lortab!

At around 4:30, I ate some more of those tasty tater tots.

Two of my friends came by later even though I expressly told them that I didn't want them to come over.
The only reason I tolerated them was because they brought me some "presents."  Yes, they were generous enough to bring me a balloon, a birthday card with one dollar in it, and some chewy candy--already opened, mind you--that I clearly can't eat yet.
I'm joking, obviously.  I mean, they really did bring me those sad, sad gifts... really should I even call them gifts?  But it was nice to see them.  They made me laugh more than was comfortable for my face and thankfully I had actually cleaned up before they came.  

After they left we--my mom, dad, brother, and I--went to Panera and we all had soup.
I myself had "creamy tomato" and, boy, was it good.  I ate the entire bowl!  This feat was accomplished in no less than an hour, but it was a feat nonetheless.  For real, that soup was amazing.  And once they soaked in the soup I was able to eat some of the croutons in there too.  I also ate the soft inside of the bread that came with the soup.  Mayonnaise is my favorite condiment and I've missed it dearly since the surgery so I put that on the bread.  I know it sounds gross, but it was just like a sandwich... without the rest of the stuff that actually makes it a sandwich. 
Go without real food for a week and see what you'll eat!

When I finally finished eating we went over to Books-A-Million.  On the plus side of this experience, I got three books, all generous gifts.  On the not so plus side, I ran into those pesky friends of mine again.
At one point I saw this guy from school that I've never really talked to but we've had enough classes together to recognize each other and he gave me a couple of questioning looks.  The way he was looking at me either said something like, "Do I know her?  She looks familiar. Just look away.  Wait, is that--?  No... Yeah, just ignore her" or "What's up with that chick's face?"  Either way I got a good laugh out of it.

Now we've returned home and I'm planning on taking my anti-biotics, turning in early, and reading into the wee hours of the night.  Actually, scratch that last part; I need to get back on a normal sleeping schedule so I'll start feeling better.

Currently Reading:  Catching Fire (The Hunger Games)
Current Weight: 111.9 lbs
Current Task: Stop picking at my lips

¡Es mi cumpleaños! Tengo dieciseis años hoy.

So what did I do for my sixteenth birthday?  Absolutely nothing!
And you know what?  It was nice.
I stayed home and lounged around just like I have every day for the past week.  At one point I considered putting on pants, but I didn't have the energy.  My fishy pajamas are the height of fashion anyway.

Sometime during the day my neighbor, who shares a birthday with me, came over and we exchanged gifts.
My dad was actually telling me that one of the librarians at the library down the street also has today as birthday.  Not only that, but he was born in Heidelberg, Germany just like I was!  It's a small world.  Really small in fact, considering that neighbor on the other side of our house was born on the same day, same year as my mother.  I don't know if this one really counts, but my best friend was supposed to be born on my birthday, but she was nine days early.  When I was little I liked to pretend that I was due on her birthday because I thought that would be cool, but in reality I was due on the 16th (I think). But hey! That was my surgery date!  So, yeah.  Small world.
Well, I don't know if similar birthdays really qualifies as small world material.  I mean, everyone has a birthday sooner or later.  Argh, I don't care.

Anyway, back to the good stuff.
I had a rather good night's sleep last night.  I took until after two to fall asleep because I was determined to sleep on my back so I would feel good today, but we all know that didn't happen.  That is, I didn't sleep on my back.  I did actually feel rather nice today.  It was good night's sleep, though, because I think I slept until nine.  That would make last night the first night I didn't wake up two or three times.
True to fashion, however, I dreamed about mass murder and food.
No kidding, not a single night has gone by since the surgery that I didn't dream about eating yummy, delicious food and then dying.  Last night's dream was about the team from CSI (the one set in Las Vegas) solving a case about mass murder in the dining car of a train.  It was kinda like I was watching an episode on TV.  And the killer was still on the train! It was intense, yo.
I also dreamed that I was a guy and I forgot today was the prom.  I was scrambling all over the place trying to get a tux, trying to get my date to cancel on me, something about a JC Penny... If I remember correctly there was a rude cashier and more murder in the JC Penny.  I'm blaming it on the lortab.

Speaking of which, I only took one dose again today!  I really didn't want to, but I figured why be unhappy on my birthday.

For my birthday lunch I ate more of the wonderful potato soup and for dinner my dad bought soup from Ruby Tuesday.  I had some really good broccoli and cheese soup, but it was a little bit salty.  This is not a complaint--yet--because I personally like things pretty salty, but I obviously couldn't finish it.  Later, when I came back to it, it was over the top salty and I couldn't eat much of it.
So you know what I did?
I fixed tater tots.
Yeah, you read that right. TATER TOTS.
They're mini ones, so I thought "Who cares?  I want them; I'm going to find a way to get them into my stomach."
And you know what else!?  I'M CHEWING.
Yes, I, who am only one week post-op, am chewing!!!
It's limited and I'm sure my surgeon wouldn't be happy about this, but I just can't take soup much longer.  I needed this.

All in all, I'd say today was much, much better than any day prior to this.
Except for a little while ago when my friend tried to tell me that she was going to come see me tomorrow and wouldn't take no for an answer.  This made me moderately angry so I went to post the link to yesterday's post in a comment and tell her to read the part about visitors.  
So how did she react?
She didn't.
Either Facebook is mad at me or their policies have finally acknowledged that most links in comments are spam and have stopped allowing them.  

Regardless,  I'm going to bed happy.
Partly because I'm not in any pain.  Mostly because I'm eating tater tots.

Currently Reading: I don't know yet.  I feel so lost.
Current Weight: 110.7 lbs --That's up!
Current Task: Chewing, baby!

Okay, it's day six. I'm hungry.  I hurt.  I'm almost out of my pain medication.  I'm impatient.  I'm drooling.
ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH.
I'm ready to scream!
I like to consider myself a patient patient--doing what the doctor tells me, keeping a bright outlook--but I'm about to rip my abnormally greasy hair right out of my angry little head.

My current beefs:

• My dog nose
• Whatever's happened to my breath
• Tickling
• Hunger
• Appetite
• Swelling
• Sleeping
• Medicine
• People
• John Mayer

My nose looks like a pug nose right now, but that's not what I mean by dog nose.  No, my nose is currently so oily, 24/7, that I touch it and my fingers come away wet literally ten minutes after I wash it.  Normally I have nice, happy skin.  It's lovely, really...
Just a joke, but if anything, my skin is dry.  Now, my forehead is currently about as moisturized as the Sahara desert, but this stupid nose is slippery and I don't know why!  What is doing this to my nose!?  And my hair for that matter.  All I do is sit in a chair and spill liquids on myself all day long, yet I think I could shower twice a day and I still wouldn't feel clean.

My breath still smells like a salmon smokery.  I swear, I brush my teeth and tongue like 40 times a day and use my prescription mouthwash, but it is unchanging.

Tickling.  Let's just start by saying that I hate to be tickled.  The second someone starts I fake scream bloody murder because it makes most people stop immediately.  And all my stupid, stupid hair does is swarm around my unfeeling face and make it itch and tickle.  I can't feel my face, how does it itch!?  I could scratch all day long, but you can't scratch an itch you technically can't feel.

This is day six? Then I've been hungry six days now.  No matter what you eat, no matter how much you eat, you are never full on a liquid diet.

So why is appetite listed separately from hunger?  Because blended food is disgusting and I don't want any of it.

My swelling is probably the most bothersome right now.  It's "fine" I guess, but this upper lip the size of Lisa Rinna's-- What's that? Teenagers don't know who that is?-- the size of Angelina Jolie's bottom one is really getting in my way.  Not only that, but it's still numb and there's constant pressure on it and it just hurts, okay?

I don't even want to get started on sleeping. It is IMPOSSIBLE to sleep flat on your back, at a 45 degree angle, with your face straight up for any amount of time, much less the four to six weeks that I'm expected to do it.  I got, maybe, four hours of sleep last night because it hurts to sleep any other way and my drooling has reached St. Bernard proportions.

I'm so sick of medicine!  I take this horrible "orange" flavored stuff three times a day and my Lortab looks  like pee, only I'd rather drink pee at this point.  Today I even took Tylenol instead of it, just because I'm sick of forcing it down my throat through a syringe.

Aaaaaand people. I'm not a people person anyway, and right now between the pain and the effect the medicine has on me, I'm hardly a person at all.  I can't focus on anything, I look and feel gross, I'm in a perpetual bad mood, and I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!
This isn't completely true though; I've had some people come by and see me and I'm very grateful that I have friends that want to, blah blah blah.  The people that have come to see me understand that I don't feel too great and don't overstay their welcome.  And, I'll say it, I appreciate some connection to the outside world.  But to those of you that think it's funny to argue with me and insist you're going to come see me no matter what I say, IT'S NOT FUNNY.  In fact, it makes me furious.  I have a very short temper already and right now it's minuscule.  Do not mess with me, do not argue with me.  If I specifically say to you that I don't wan't to see you, don't you dare show up at my doorstep.


John Mayer has absolutely nothing to do with my recovery, I just really can't stand his music.

And now, for the irony: today was a good day!
Can't you tell!? I'm back to my cynical, unhappy self!
Not only am I being angry with my writing, but it's less erratic, more cohesive than the last few posts have been.  I'm even using italics and dashes again!!!  Let me just say, lortab is one heck of a drug.  
I only took one dose today and I feel really good about that.  Now I'm not saying I'm having "withdrawls" or anything, I don't think I'm addicted, but it was a hard day without it.  I got up this morning feeling like pigeon poop but I just took some Tylenol and tried to tough it out.  What kept me going was the knowledge that my father was bringing macaroni and cheese and sweet potatoes for me to eat for lunch.  I'm not the type to do drugs, and I attribute this partly to the fact that I know for fact there can be no greater substance on earth than sweet potatoes, so why try 'em?  Needless to say, I wasn't ready for either of those foods so in true Susan form, I cried about it.  I cried a lot, I was unfairly mean to my mother, and I just was not a happy camper.  My mother, who I just don't how has dealt with me this week, went to the grocery store and bought me chicken flavored ramen noodles and lasagna for when I'm better-- these were actually good, but still a huge mistake on the part of sodium-- and I ate some of those. 
This was just too much for me (and if I thought laughing hurt, I obviously was still on morphine the last time I cried) so around four o'clock I caved and took my lortab.   Once again, so glad I don't smoke.

Since then, I ate some more potato soup--added cheese, sour cream, and salsa; Heavenly!-- and read like 200 pages in my book.  I think I'm a masochist, since I'm constantly starving and I'm reading a book called The Hunger Games.  And let me tell you, they never stop talking about food.

Anyway, my procrastination and my better mood has made this post far too long-- in writing and reading time--so I think I'll close with a quote from a beloved sitcom that has helped me through my recovery (the quote, not the sitcom):
"When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story."
I couldn't imagine a better philosophy.

Currently Reading:  The Hunger Games --Almost finished! Now the swelling needs to go down so I can go to the book store and buy the second one!
Current Weight: 109.9 lbs  --This I'm not happy with.  I actually ate a fair amount today.
Current Task:  Once again, trying to sleep.

Today was good!  I've felt good all day long!
I woke up this morning in a lot of pain because I slept on my face last night, but since I took some pain meds I've been feeling good.  In fact, I haven't taken any Lortab in six hours!

So, that locker I mentioned? Number 1251?
Obtained.
I wasn't feeling up to dealing with the awful people and their even worse mothers that would be at school today, so my mother went for me.  And she snagged me a rather good parking spot! Go Mom!

The only real news today is that I ate a good amount of potato soup and I ate some ramen noodles.
I don't really like potatoes so I loaded it with cheese, sour cream, and salt and it was pretty good.  The ramen I ate later was only mildy desirable--the only information on flavor was "noodle"-- so I ditched it and am going to eat some pudding soon.  Thinking about it now, the ramen wasn't a good decision seeing that my lips are raw and ramen is basically 100% salt.  But it's okay, vaseline is a lifesaver.
Sadly though, no matter what I eat or how much I brush, my mouth continues to smell like salmon.

I guess since the pain is subsiding the days are getting less and less interesting to read and write about.
Sorry! Maybe tomorrow will bring new excitement.

And to close I will say that now that I'm feeling better, I'm feeling up to laughing.
Big mistake.
Me and my parents just had a laugh attack and I must say it was the most painful thing that's happened to me since I came home from the hospital.  It stretched my lips and I could feel the stitches under my nose ripping.
So nothing funny!

Lastly, thank you to everyone that's been reading this silly little blog.  It's nice to know you care!

Currently Reading: The Hunger Games  (Seriously good, I would recommend)
Current Weight: 111.9 --That's up!
Current Task: Weaning myself off of my dwindling stash of lortab

I'm so glad I'm not a smoker.  This whole ordeal has made me realize how very little will power I actually have, and I know for a fact that if I was to try to quit smoking, I definitely could not.  I mean, with this it's not physically possible for me to consume what I'm craving, but cigarettes are always available.  I'm just saying, I now have serious respect for anybody that has managed to quit smoking.
Right now lasagna is my nicotine. I want it so badly!
Speaking of food, I dreamed about eating a hamburger last night, and bacon the night before.
And you know what, America?  I don't think it's entirely necessary that every single commercial be about amazing Taco Bell or Pizza Hut's new $10 deals.  Advertise something like liver!

Earlier I ate maybe four bites of refried bean soup.  I wasn't really crazy about it, but I'm sure I would have liked it better if my mouth didn't taste like a dead cat all the time.

I'm sleeping better at night now!  I'm supposed to sleep at a 45 degree angle to keep my swelling down, but I always manage to roll over on my face during the night. I like to sleep on my stomach, so you can see where this is a problem, but I simply cannot stay asleep on my back.  Last night I put a king size pillow under my chin, so if I rolled over the pillow would inhibit how far my face moved.

As far as swelling goes, things are still looking pretty much the same.  My surgeon's office called today to check up on me and the lady said my swelling should go down by Thursday, one week post-op. 
I think my lips are even bigger now, though.  Earlier I pulled the entire outer layer of my lips off which, surprisingly, made me feel really good.  I had only intended to pull off some dead skin at the corner of my mouth, but my whole lip soon detached itself.  It's really not as gross as it sounds, because all I really had to do was pull a little and a whole bunch of skin was ready to come off.  The reason it felt so great, though, was because it pulled a whole bunch of gunky dried blood and junk out of my mouth with it.  Honestly, it was like a huge booger after a nose bleed. Gross, I know, but relieving.

Oh, and after that I drank from a cup! A CUP! I feel so human again!!!
The only problem is I still have to use the mirror and I can't see my mouth because the cup is in the way.  Kinda counterproductive, and I always get too much and choke and spit it all over myself, but it's worth it.

And that's all that's happened today. Fun stuff.

Currently Reading: The Hunger Games
Current Weight: 111.5 lbs
Current Task: Drinking more water

Sorry for not updating yesterday!  I'd have to say yesterday was the worst day so far so I took all my medicines and turned in early.
It looks like today's going to be a short post because I still can't focus on anything right now.
There's good news though! I think a good deal of my swelling went down last night and I was having an easier time talking than I had been, but I'm pretty sure I slept on my side or something because I'm all puffed up again.
Yesterday we had some visitors from church and a friend from school came over and brought me some stuff.

As far as today goes, I'm fairly happy.  My pain has been pretty tolerable, but I can feel myself getting addicted to the Lortab already.  I'm trying to cut back and only take it when something really hurts, but, as you can probably imagine, EVERYTHING HURTS!
Right now, all I want is to put something warm on face, but I'm only allowed to put ice on it.  Oh well, I guess I'll just have to take some more pain killers!


I managed to eat some tomato soup this afternoon!  This was made a ton easier by ditching my syringe for a plastic spoon and using a hand held mirror to see where my lips were.

I'm still drooling like crazy, but I've regained some feeling in my chin and lower lip, so it's dramatically decreased from Friday.  I do miss my little suction tube I had at the hospital, though.  It was just like that thing they use at the dentist's office to suck out your spit and stuff.  They really should sell those at Wal-Mart or something. 

One totally weird thing I wasn't expecting, is how oiley my face gets.  I mean, I try to wash it but I can't really feel it, so I think I must not be doing a good job.  My hair's also sticky from the tape they used to keep it out of my face and I can't seem to get all of it off.  Maybe this calls for more pain medication...

A little while ago a friend called me asking if I wanted her to bring me a milkshake.  Oh, I wish.
I wish, I wish, I wish I could use a straw.  Unfortunatley though, my lips don't even come close to closing, or really even moving for that matter.  No kidding, they're like big hard lumps that I can't do anything with.  Like breast implants, but on my face.

Anyway, I'd say that overall today was a five.  Not too great, not too bad.  It lifted my spirits to hear that lots of people are following what write on here and have asked other people how I'm doing.  Plus, my brother bought me a dry erase board so I'm communicating better than I was a few days ago.

All I want right now is a pizza.  Or a hamburger.  I'd even settle for a corndog, if I could just chew!
But right now, after experimenting with raspberry sherbet and ginger ale, it looks like I'm still stuck with Ensure.  It tasted like diet chocolate and makes my mouth all gunky, but it's better than nothing.

And finally, today's pictures:

Currently Reading: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens
Current Weight: 112.5 lbs
Current Task: Cleaning the blood out of my nose and off my teeth

I promised myself that this blog would be more than me just complaining, but I would like to start out by saying this is quite possibly the worst day of my entire life.  I'm swollen; my ears, nose, and throat hurt; I'm bleeding and drooling; and I'm just generally uncomfortable.

Yesterday I got up at 4:00 a.m. and made it to the hospital around 5.  Me and my mother went back to a room and I got in my purple gown for surgery.  A lady injected me with Lidocaine and put in my IV and put this tube in my gown that made it all warm.  I liked it.

At some point my dad came back and she taped up my hair in a towel.

My awesome pastor came by at around 6 and we all prayed together.  Al Roker and Paula Dean were right across the street, too, so we watched them on T.V. a little while.  A lady wheeled me out of the room and had me say goodbye to everybody, and I don't have a clue what happened after that.  The next thing I remember was somebody putting me in a different gown and bed in recovery.  Seriously, I don't even slightly remember anything else of the next few hours except going to the bathroom every five minutes and throwing up on myself.  I got bloody vomit all over the bed too, so I got up for a few minutes.  At some point I took this picture of myself.

It looks pretty bad right now, but my nose looks cuter and my chin is about half the size it was before the procedure.  The rest of the day and night is really just a blur of waking up and falling back asleep a few times an hour.  My nurse came in and started getting me ready at about 5:00 a.m. and we left the hospital at around 6.  The ride home was pretty rough, but I survived.

Since then I've napped off and on and tried to take all my medicines, but I'm having trouble swallowing.  My tongue is huge and it hurts my ears and head when I try to swallow.  My antibiotics aren't too bad, but my Lortab really burns when it goes down.  I'd been avoiding taking it, but finally my pain got bad enough that I started crying, which hurt worse than the burning medicine, so I eventually took it.

I would have to say that one of the worst parts about this is that my feeling is starting to come back in patches and those patches tingle and constantly feel wet, so that's very disorienting.


I guess that's all that I can think of right now, so here are my pictures from today.

¡Hasta mañana!

Currently Reading: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
Current Weight: 113.3 lbs
Current Tasks: Trying to eat