Sorry about leaving you guys for a whole four days! I hadn't planned on it, really, but I got a little sick.
In the past four days I would say I've improved some, though.
There's nothing much that anybody other than me would probably notice, but I myself am seeing some improvement. For instance, that huge
upper lip is now a nice, moderately sized upper lip. I've abandoned trying to sleep with my head elevated so it's a little puffy when I wake up every morning, but as the day goes on it gets smaller. I still can't feel anything between the bottom of my eyes and my top lip, but if I poke certain spots on my face I'll feel a nerve twinge somewhere. The most reliable spot is around the middle of my lip and it spasms if I poke the left side of my nose; however, my favorite spot is the roof of my mouth and it freaks out if I poke the right side of my nose. The deal with the thing in my mouth is that when I poke my nose it feels like someone's stabbing me with knife in there, but it's a good kind of stab. The only thing I can really relate it to is if the roof of my mouth was cake and the knife was just softly stabbing through it. I know, it's weird. And it would probably bother me under normal circumstances, but right now any feeling is good with me.
The stitches in my mouth have all decided to come loose within the past few days. While it'll be nice to have them out of there soon, I can not say it's equally as nice to have them flapping around in the meantime.
My top lip still doesn't move, even when I talk and eat, so my speech is still a little slurred and there's ALWAYS food I'm trying to get out of my top braces. That immobile upper lip just traps it there and teases me with the thought of ever eating the same again.
Two of my friend came over on Thursday for a movie day. Between the comedies and my friends just being funny, I laughed a lot. And it didn't hurt! I don't know if I've finally popped one too many stiches, or they're stretched out, or if I've subconciously found a new, less painful way to laugh, but I like it.
Yesterday my mom and I went to my uncle's retirement party, so I was blessed with a day out of the house. The only thing I did today was ride with my parents over to the garage where my car was recently painted and got to look at it. Let me just say that it's purple, sparkly, and beautiful.
I love it!
My only problem right now (since the pain is pretty much gone) is my mouth breathing. I'm still breathing through my mouth 24/7. It just seems like such a waste now that that's not the only orifice I can breathe out of! I have never been able to breathe through my nose and now I feel like, for the first time in my life, I could be kidnapped, have my mouth taped up, and not die of suffocation before the kidnappers could do anything to me. You probably laugh, but that's an innate fear I've had to deal with for the past decade. So I looked up "train yourself to sleep with your mouth closed" on Google today, but the only thing I got was advertisements for CPAP machines. Since last night's attempt to wrap my face in my post surgery bandages so tight that I couldn't open my mouth resulted in my being awake until three in the morning, at which point I removed the bandages, I'm not exactly sure what my next move is. Maybe I'll just morph into a William Shatner like being that never sleeps. Because, at this rate, that seems more plausible than my morning breath ever going away.
Anyway, the swelling's going down, I feel good, blah blah blah. We all know you don't care anymore, you just want the pictures.
Well, I'm sorry to say, I'm inept and I still haven't been able to fix my webcam.Currently Reading: I Am Number Four
--Done with The Hunger Games trilogy, to my dismay. I would like to acknowledge Mockingjay
as both the saddest and most frustrating book I've read in a long, long time. Don't read it if you value your sanity.Current Weight:
112.1 lbsCurrent Tast:
Ridding myself of these hateful stitches.
Lastly, I just want to beg of you to please, please, please, please, please, please, please never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever take your ability to chew for granted. I actually had to leave the dinner table tonight because watching my parents take human sized bites of food and easily grind them with their teeth dismayed me that much. The feeling is something I would relate to being dumped if I had any experience with such. My jaw has dumped me and moved on to prettier things.
Kanye West had it right (for probably the only time in his life) when he wrote the following lyrics after having his jaw broken:I drink a boost for breakfast, and ensure for desert
Somebody ordered pancakes I just sip the sizzurp
That right there could drive a sane man bizzerk
Okay, I think we can all agree that these posts are getting a little bland, right? Right, so I've decided to just start doing my posts every other day rather than daily.
All right then, lets get started.
Yesterday I slept until noon again because I keep staying up half the night reading. Of course, this gave me a headache. I just can't make myself get out of bed! Darn you, Hunger Games!
In the mere hours it took for dinner time to roll around I lazed about waiting for my headache to go away. I saw today that Birmingham was rated one of the top ten laziest cities in America. My new sedentary lifestyle probably doesn't help that. Sorry, Birmingham!
But I digress. Moving on, nothing really happened the rest of that night.
This morning I--surprise, surprise--slept until noon. What is wrong with me?! I'm going to bed at a reasonable time tonight and I told my mother to drag me out of bed by my ears tomorrow, so hopefully this is the last day I do this to myself.
At three we left for an appointment with my surgeon downtown. Traffic was kinda bad, but we got there right at my appointment time, 3:45; regardless, we waited nearly an hour. We remembered this time that they have terrible magazines, though, so I was happy with my book. A lady called me back at around 4:30 to take x-rays, and then she sent me back out to the waiting room to sit some more.
They need to quit with the x-rays or I'm going to get some kind of cancer.
Soon they took me to the back and my surgeon came in to see me. He poked around my mouth and made me smile for a while, but he didn't really do enough to make me hurt like I thought he would.
He wasn't going to stay long, but he made some kind of passing comment like "Be careful what you eat" and started to head out the door. My mother had the sense to ask him what he meant and he told me that I shouldn't be chewing and left. His assistant asked me what I had been eating and pretty much had a come-apart when I told her I ate a hamburger last night. "Are you serious?! You could do some kind of damage to something in your mouth and something bad will happen!" I'm paraphrasing of course, but that's what it sounded like to me. What I got out of it was that by chewing I'm going to damage the bone in my mouth and have to be wired shut.
Gee, that doesn't sound like something that I might have wanted to know, I don't know, maybe... TWO WEEKS AGO, does it?! And she was indignant about it! I was mad. No, I was livid. This is something you tell somebody before they go into surgery. At least before they leave the hospital. They should have stressed that "soft foods" are mandatory, not just a suggestion like we thought.
I cry when I'm mad, so of course I had a fit in the car which only made my mouth hurt. It just made me so angry that they wouldn't tell me this before I had the chance to potentially hurt myself. Not only that, but then the surgeon just said it so flippantly and his assistant acted like this was something I should have known already. It makes me want to chew just to spite them.
We went to Ruby Tuesdays since my dad wouldn't be home for dinner, and I chewed. Yep, I don't even care anymore. I ate zucchini cake burgers, french fries, and a salad. Now, I don't want to be wired shut (except for the fact that it would give me a chance to complain to them how it would be their fault because they did a crap job preparing me for recovery) so I cut everything up really small, but I still chewed. Out of spite.
I going back again next Thursday, so hopefully I won't damage myself irreparably before then.
BUT, if I do, I'm still saying it's their fault. And I'm still feeling pretty spiteful, so we'll see how things go.
My webcam is being poop and I don't remember how I fixed it last time it acted this way, so no picture tonight. But my swelling is pretty much gone! Hopefully I can get it up and running again soon.
Currently Reading: MockingjayCurrent Weight:
112.4 lbsCurrent Task:
Being spitefully spitefuliscious.
Well, well, well. Look who's back.
Oh, wrong point of view. Well, glad to see you're back.
Sorry I didn't write yesterday, but there was this puzzle and it was 1500 pieces and it's all 3-D... and I'm sorry.
Truth is, I was going to make this post all special and long and super duper informative, but I'm stupid and closed my browser before I saved that super duper special post and this is my second time writing it. With a headache.
So, yesterday I was a poop and slept until one o'clock. Ugh, big mistake. I had a headache and my face swelled back up some, but I toughed it out and didn't take any pain medication even though it's all in pill form now!
I sat in the living room and read until dinner time when we had turkey and dressing (sans turkey for me) and candied sweet potatoes. It was awesome, and since I didn't even have to chew any of it I was finished in less than an hour.
After that I read some more. I'm not kidding you, these Hunger Games books are a-may-zing.
I got tired of reading and moved on to that puzzle I mentioned. I'm not gonna lie, I had fun. Yeah, that's right. I don't need you anymore!
I'm sorry, readers. I lied; I do need you! Come back!
Anyway, this morning was better because I got up and went to church, meaning I was out of bed by 9:30. It was nice to see my friends and everybody, but I over did it. They're all so funny, but funny's not good right now. I took a preemptive lortab before we went, though, so it wasn't too bad.
My parents and I treated ourselves to Mexican food for lunch, which I was able to eat. The chips were a little difficult, but i just let them sit in the cheese dip for a minute to soften them up and all was well. My nacho cheese burrito was also very good, but I didn't quite finish it. It really is amazing how much food doesn't really require any chewing. The ground beef in the burrito was small enough to swallow and the tortilla was soft enough that it went down without any trouble.
When we returned home I realized just how pooped I was and sat down to work on my puzzle some more. By the time church time came around again it was raining and I was still tired so I just stayed home. After my parents and brother left it really started storming and the power was becoming unreliable. It kinda freaked me out.
After church was out my brother went to Burger King and I made the mistake of asking for a burger and fries. I'm so dumb. I hate Burger King. It doesn't taste good and the food always makes me sick. Always. I just took some Advil for the headache it gave me. So dumb.
That's all that's happened since my last post, so I guess I'll take this opportunity to tell you about my pain.
Most of the times I've talked about my pain on here, it's been pretty much nothing. On a scale of 1-10, it's usually a two or a three. Sometimes there's not even any pain, it just pressure. The only thing that ever really hurts is when I smile or cry, and that's definitely a ten. When I first started noticing the pain there, it was mostly on the right side and just kinda felt like my stitches were pulling. Now the pain has switched to my left side and it goes all the way up the side of my nose. I don't think anything is wrong, there must just be a sore nerve over there or something. I'm not too worried about it and it seems to be the only thing that's in danger of bothering me.
I think my talking has greatly improved. It's been a while since I've had to use my dry erase board here at home (and my dad hasn't needed to use any of the sign language I've taught him) but I know that could just be my parents getting used to the way I'm talking. I talked to my sister the other night though. She lives in Japan, so obviously it was via webcam, and I'm assuming that if I'm understandable through that, then I'm understandable in person. I mostly just sound like I have a lisp now. And I'm having trouble with p's and sh's. For instance, the other day I tried to say "poo-poo" and my brother thought I said "foo-foo."
I don't know how the guy understood me today when I asked for a "na-ho cheeth burrito." Speaking of which, the owner of the restaurant was talking to us and he said, "Did she have surgery?" *points to his mouth* "She's quieter today." What can I say? I like to talk.
Um, what else...
Oh, well I still don't know if I can whistle. Once the swelling in my lip goes down (hopefully I'll be able to feel it by then) I'll try it out. My swelling is gone for the most part, but that pesky lip is still pretty big. My cheeks, though, have pretty much deflated. Sometimes when I sleep on them they puff up, but right now they're lookin' good. I'm not sure about the areas right under my eyes, I can't feel them whatsoever, but they might be a little swollen still too.The swelling inside of my mouth has gone down too, I think. At first, the places where my molars are at were swollen on either side to the point of almost choking me because I didn't have anywhere to put my tongue. There are stitches on both sides of my mandible where I'm assuming the surgeon took my bone out. Sometimes I get food in those. Not fun. The only other things that I'm aware are in my mouth are these spots at the very back and I can't even decide what they are. They feel just like it would if I had bitten down on my cheek really hard, but they're not exactly in a spot where I could have bitten down on them. I was thinking that maybe they were in a different place when I was still swollen, but I think I can feel stitches in them. I'm not sure what they would have been doing at that spot in my mouth, but who knows?
I currently can't even lick my top teeth, but my talent of licking my nose looks like it won't return.
It's a small secession for a huge victory, as far as I'm concerned.
I'm still having nosebleeds every once a while, but they're small so no worries there.
Argh, I really can't think of anything else that might even slightly interest anybody.
I'll try my very hardest to come up with interesting writing material for tomorrow.
One positive thing, to close, is that I'm feeling like I can do anything with my hair now. For the last couple of years, I've confined myself to one hairstyle because it balances my face well. To do something really short would have shown off my underbite; to do something long only made my long face longer. As a result, I've kept it right at my chin, never getting to my shoulders. And forget doing anything with it besides leaving it down. Putting my hair in a pony tail would defeat the purpose of the haircut and my hair hasn't been long enough to really do anything else with it. What will I do now? I can cut it short or I can grow it out. I can put it in a ponytail or learn to braid it! I have so many options now!!!
What do you think I should do? Tell me in the comments!
Love you guys!
That's the farthest I can stick my tongue out, but at least it's looking clean again!
Look at that beautiful overbite!
We discovered today that I still look like good ol' Susan if you cover up the mouth.
Currently Reading: Catching FireCurrent Weight:
111.4 lbsCurrent Task:
Today I put on clothes.
I slept until noon and probably wouldn't have woken up then if my mom hadn't come and talked to me.
I'm not sure if today was just going to be a bad day anyway or if the sleeping put me over the edge, but it's been rough. I had a bad headache, my jaw was aching, and the place where they cut me under my nose was actually hurting. Needless to say, I happily took some lortab.
I'm running low on said lortab so my mom called the surgeon and he got me a refill. And that refill was for pills. Yes, pills! No more liquid lortab!
At around 4:30, I ate some more of those tasty tater tots.
Two of my friends came by later even though I expressly told them that I didn't want them to come over.
The only reason I tolerated them was because they brought me some "presents." Yes, they were generous enough to bring me a balloon, a birthday card with one dollar in it, and some chewy candy--already opened, mind you--that I clearly can't eat yet.
I'm joking, obviously. I mean, they really did bring me those sad, sad gifts... really should I even call them gifts? But it was nice to see them. They made me laugh more than was comfortable for my face and thankfully I had actually cleaned up before they came.
After they left we--my mom, dad, brother, and I--went to Panera and we all had soup.
I myself had "creamy tomato" and, boy, was it good. I ate the entire bowl! This feat was accomplished in no less than an hour, but it was a feat nonetheless. For real, that soup was amazing. And once they soaked in the soup I was able to eat some of the croutons in there too. I also ate the soft inside of the bread that came with the soup. Mayonnaise is my favorite condiment and I've missed it dearly since the surgery so I put that on the bread. I know it sounds gross, but it was just like a sandwich... without the rest of the stuff that actually makes it a sandwich.
Go without real food for a week and see what you'll eat!
When I finally finished eating we went over to Books-A-Million. On the plus side of this experience, I got three books, all generous gifts. On the not so plus side, I ran into those pesky friends of mine again.
At one point I saw this guy from school that I've never really talked to but we've had enough classes together to recognize each other and he gave me a couple of questioning looks. The way he was looking at me either said something like, "Do I know her? She looks familiar. Just look away. Wait, is that--? No... Yeah, just ignore her" or "What's up with that chick's face?" Either way I got a good laugh out of it.
Now we've returned home and I'm planning on taking my anti-biotics, turning in early, and reading into the wee hours of the night. Actually, scratch that last part; I need to get back on a normal sleeping schedule so I'll start feeling better.
Despite the look on my face, I'm SO happy to say that this is one of my final doses of orange gunk.
This squirt water bottle has also make water intake much easier.
And finally, almost a real smile!
Currently Reading: Catching Fire (The Hunger Games)
111.9 lbs Current Task:
Stop picking at my lips
¡Es mi cumpleaños! Tengo dieciseis años hoy.
So what did I do for my sixteenth birthday? Absolutely nothing!
And you know what? It was nice.
I stayed home and lounged around just like I have every day for the past week. At one point I considered putting on pants, but I didn't have the energy. My fishy pajamas are the height of fashion anyway.
Sometime during the day my neighbor, who shares a birthday with me, came over and we exchanged gifts.
My dad was actually telling me that one of the librarians at the library down the street also has today as birthday. Not only that, but he was born in Heidelberg, Germany just like I was! It's a small world. Really small in fact, considering that neighbor on the other side of our house was born on the same day, same year as my mother. I don't know if this one really counts, but my best friend was supposed to be born on my birthday, but she was nine days early. When I was little I liked to pretend that I was due on her birthday because I thought that would be cool, but in reality I was due on the 16th (I think). But hey! That was my surgery date! So, yeah. Small world.
Well, I don't know if similar birthdays really qualifies as small world material. I mean, everyone has a birthday sooner or later. Argh, I don't care.
Anyway, back to the good stuff.
I had a rather good night's sleep last night. I took until after two to fall asleep because I was determined to sleep on my back so I would feel good today, but we all know that didn't happen. That is, I didn't sleep on my back. I did actually feel rather nice today. It was good night's sleep, though, because I think I slept until nine. That would make last night the first night I didn't wake up two or three times.
True to fashion, however, I dreamed about mass murder and food.
No kidding, not a single night has gone by since the surgery that I didn't dream about eating yummy, delicious food and then dying. Last night's dream was about the team from CSI (the one set in Las Vegas) solving a case about mass murder in the dining car of a train. It was kinda like I was watching an episode on TV. And the killer was still on the train! It was intense, yo.
I also dreamed that I was a guy and I forgot today was the prom. I was scrambling all over the place trying to get a tux, trying to get my date to cancel on me, something about a JC Penny... If I remember correctly there was a rude cashier and more murder in the JC Penny. I'm blaming it on the lortab.
Speaking of which, I only took one dose again today! I really didn't want to, but I figured why be unhappy on my birthday.
For my birthday lunch I ate more of the wonderful potato soup and for dinner my dad bought soup from Ruby Tuesday. I had some really good broccoli and cheese soup, but it was a little bit salty. This is not a complaint--yet--because I personally like things pretty salty, but I obviously couldn't finish it. Later, when I came back to it, it was over the top salty and I couldn't eat much of it.
So you know what I did?
I fixed tater tots.
Yeah, you read that right. TATER TOTS.
They're mini ones, so I thought "Who cares? I want them; I'm going to find a way to get them into my stomach."
And you know what else!? I'M CHEWING.
Yes, I, who am only one week post-op, am chewing!!!
It's limited and I'm sure my surgeon wouldn't be happy about this, but I just can't take soup much longer. I needed this.
All in all, I'd say today was much, much better than any day prior to this.
Except for a little while ago when my friend tried to tell me that she was going to come see me tomorrow and wouldn't take no for an answer. This made me moderately angry so I went to post the link to yesterday's post in a comment and tell her to read the part about visitors.
So how did she react?
Either Facebook is mad at me or their policies have finally acknowledged that most links in comments are spam and have stopped allowing them.
Regardless, I'm going to bed happy.
Partly because I'm not in any pain. Mostly because I'm eating tater tots.
I luh you, taters.
I'm not sure what face this is, but I think the lips are looking smaller!
Currently Reading: I don't know yet. I feel so lost.
Current Weight: 110.7 lbs --That's up!
Current Task: Chewing, baby!
Okay, it's day six. I'm hungry. I hurt. I'm almost out of my pain medication. I'm impatient. I'm drooling.
I'm ready to scream!
I like to consider myself a patient patient--doing what the doctor tells me, keeping a bright outlook--but I'm about to rip my abnormally greasy hair right out of my angry little head.
My current beefs:
- My dog nose
- Whatever's happened to my breath
- John Mayer
looks like a pug nose right now, but that's not what I mean by dog nose. No, my nose is currently so oily, 24/7, that I touch it and my fingers come away wet literally ten minutes after I wash it. Normally I have nice, happy skin. It's lovely, really...
Just a joke, but if anything, my skin is dry. Now, my forehead is currently about as moisturized as the Sahara desert, but this stupid nose is slippery and I don't know why! What is doing this to my nose!? And my hair for that matter. All I do is sit in a chair and spill liquids on myself all day long, yet I think I could shower twice a day and I still wouldn't feel clean.My breath
still smells like a salmon smokery. I swear, I brush my teeth and tongue like 40 times a day and use my prescription
mouthwash, but it is unchanging.Tickling.
Let's just start by saying that I hate to be tickled. The second someone starts I fake scream bloody murder because it makes most people stop immediately. And all my stupid, stupid hair does is swarm around my unfeeling face and make it itch and tickle. I can't feel my face, how does it itch!? I could scratch all day long, but you can't scratch an itch you technically can't feel.
This is day six? Then I've been hungry
six days now. No matter what you eat, no matter how much you eat, you are never full on a liquid diet.
So why is appetite
listed separately from hunger? Because blended food is disgusting and I don't want any of it.
is probably the most bothersome right now. It's "fine" I guess, but this upper lip the size of Lisa Rinna's-- What's that? Teenagers don't know who that is?-- the size of Angelina Jolie's bottom one is really getting in my way. Not only that, but it's still numb and there's constant pressure on it and it just hurts, okay?
I don't even want to get started on sleeping.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to sleep flat on your back, at a 45 degree angle, with your face straight up for any amount of time, much less the four to six weeks that I'm expected to do it. I got, maybe, four hours of sleep last night because it hurts to sleep any other way and my drooling has reached St. Bernard proportions.
I'm so sick of medicine
! I take this horrible "orange" flavored stuff three times a day and my Lortab looks like pee, only I'd rather drink pee at this point. Today I even took Tylenol instead of it, just because I'm sick of forcing it down my throat through a syringe.
I'm not a people person anyway, and right now between the pain and the effect the medicine has on me, I'm hardly a person at all. I can't focus on anything, I look and feel gross, I'm in a perpetual bad mood, and I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!
This isn't completely true though; I've had some people come by and see me and I'm very grateful that I have friends that want to, blah blah blah. The people that have come to see me understand that I don't feel too great and don't overstay their welcome. And, I'll say it, I appreciate some connection to the outside world. But to those of you that think it's funny to argue with me and insist you're going to come see me no matter what I say, IT'S NOT FUNNY. In fact, it makes me furious. I have a very short temper already and right now it's minuscule. Do not mess with me, do not argue with me. If I specifically say to you that I don't wan't to see you, don't you dare show up at my doorstep.John Mayer
has absolutely nothing to do with my recovery, I just really can't stand his music.
And now, for the irony: today was a good day!
Can't you tell!? I'm back to my cynical, unhappy self!
Not only am I being angry with my writing, but it's less erratic, more cohesive than the last few posts have been. I'm even using italics and dashes again!!! Let me just say, lortab is one heck of a drug.
I only took one dose today and I feel really good about that. Now I'm not saying I'm having "withdrawls"
or anything, I don't think I'm addicted, but it was a hard day without it. I got up this morning feeling like pigeon poop but I just took some Tylenol and tried to tough it out. What kept me going was the knowledge that my father was bringing macaroni and cheese and sweet potatoes for me to eat for lunch. I'm not the type to do drugs, and I attribute this partly to the fact that I know for fact there can be no greater substance on earth than sweet potatoes, so why try 'em? Needless to say, I wasn't ready for either of those foods so in true Susan form, I cried about it. I cried a lot, I was unfairly mean to my mother, and I just was not a happy camper. My mother, who I just don't how has dealt with me this week, went to the grocery store and bought me chicken flavored ramen noodles and lasagna for when I'm better-- these were actually good, but still a huge mistake on the part of sodium-- and I ate some of those.
This was just too much for me (and if I thought laughing hurt, I obviously was still on morphine the last time I cried) so around four o'clock I caved and took my lortab. Once again, so
glad I don't smoke.
Since then, I ate some more potato soup--added cheese, sour cream, and salsa; Heavenly!-- and read like 200 pages in my book. I think I'm a masochist, since I'm constantly starving and I'm reading a book called The Hunger Games.
And let me tell you, they never stop talking about food.
Anyway, my procrastination and my better mood has made this post far too long-- in writing and
reading time--so I think I'll close with a quote from a beloved sitcom that has helped me through my recovery (the quote, not the sitcom):
"When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story."
I couldn't imagine a better philosophy.
This picture serves two purposes. The first is to show you that I can still almost close my lips, and the second is to demonstrate my love affair with this lovely hand held mirror that has made eating possible.
And this one was an accident, but the look is appropriate enough that it can show that I'm sorry for my little trick with the first mile of my post. I really am feeling good!
Currently Reading: The Hunger Games
--Almost finished! Now the swelling needs to go down so I can go to the book store and buy the second one!Current Weight
: 109.9 lbs --This I'm not happy with. I actually ate a fair amount today.Current Task:
Once again, trying to sleep.
Today was good! I've felt good all day long!
I woke up this morning in a lot of pain because I slept on my face last night, but since I took some pain meds I've been feeling good. In fact, I haven't taken any Lortab in six hours!
So, that locker I mentioned
? Number 1251?
I wasn't feeling up to dealing with the awful people and their even worse mothers that would be at school today, so my mother went for me. And
she snagged me a rather good parking spot! Go Mom!
The only real news today is that I ate a good amount of potato soup and I ate some ramen noodles.
I don't really like potatoes so I loaded it with cheese, sour cream, and salt and it was pretty good. The ramen I ate later was only mildy desirable--the only information on flavor was "noodle"-- so I ditched it and am going to eat some pudding soon. Thinking about it now, the ramen wasn't a good decision seeing that my lips are raw and ramen is basically 100% salt. But it's okay, vaseline is a lifesaver.
Sadly though, no matter what I eat or how much I brush, my mouth continues to smell like salmon.
I guess since the pain is subsiding the days are getting less and less interesting to read and write about.
Sorry! Maybe tomorrow will bring new excitement.
And to close I will say that now that I'm feeling better, I'm feeling up to laughing.
Me and my parents just had a laugh attack and I must say it was the most painful thing that's happened to me since I came home from the hospital. It stretched my lips and I could feel the stitches under my nose ripping.
So nothing funny!
Lastly, thank you to everyone that's been reading this silly little blog. It's nice to know you care!
Look at that! That's almost a smile!!!
Currently Reading: The Hunger Games
(Seriously good, I would recommend)Current Weight:
111.9 --That's up!Current Task:
Weaning myself off of my dwindling stash of lortab
I'm so glad I'm not a smoker. This whole ordeal has made me realize how very little will power I actually have, and I know for a fact that if I was to try to quit smoking, I definitely could not. I mean, with this it's not physically possible for me to consume what I'm craving, but cigarettes are always available. I'm just saying, I now have serious respect for anybody that has managed to quit smoking.
Right now lasagna is my nicotine. I want it so badly!
Speaking of food, I dreamed about eating a hamburger last night, and bacon the night before.
And you know what, America? I don't think it's entirely necessary that every single commercial be about amazing Taco Bell or Pizza Hut's new $10 deals. Advertise something like liver!
Earlier I ate maybe four bites of refried bean soup. I wasn't really crazy about it, but I'm sure I would have liked it better if my mouth didn't taste like a dead cat all the time.
I'm sleeping better at night now! I'm supposed to sleep at a 45 degree angle to keep my swelling down, but I always manage to roll over on my face during the night. I like to sleep on my stomach, so you can see where this is a problem, but I simply cannot stay asleep on my back. Last night I put a king size pillow under my chin, so if I rolled over the pillow would inhibit how far my face moved.
As far as swelling goes, things are still looking pretty much the same. My surgeon's office called today to check up on me and the lady said my swelling should go down by Thursday, one week post-op.
I think my lips are even bigger now, though. Earlier I pulled the entire outer layer of my lips off which, surprisingly, made me feel really good. I had only intended to pull off some dead skin at the corner of my mouth, but my whole lip soon detached itself. It's really not as gross as it sounds, because all I really had to do was pull a little and a whole bunch of skin was ready to come off. The reason it felt so great, though, was because it pulled a whole bunch of gunky dried blood and junk out of my mouth with it. Honestly, it was like a huge booger after a nose bleed. Gross, I know, but relieving.
Oh, and after that I drank from a cup! A CUP! I feel so human again!!!
The only problem is I still have to use the mirror and I can't see my mouth because the cup is in the way. Kinda counterproductive, and I always get too much and choke and spit it all over myself, but it's worth it.
And that's all that's happened today. Fun stuff.
I look rather bewildered, but I'm trying to show you how close I am to closing my lips!
Currently Reading: The Hunger GamesCurrent Weight:
111.5 lbsCurrent Task:
Drinking more water
Sorry for not updating yesterday! I'd have to say yesterday was the worst day so far so I took all my medicines and turned in early.
It looks like today's going to be a short post because I still can't focus on anything right now.
There's good news though! I think a good deal of my swelling went down last night and I was having an easier time talking than I had been, but I'm pretty sure I slept on my side or something because I'm all puffed up again.
Yesterday we had some visitors from church and a friend from school came over and brought me some stuff.
Pudding, ramen, grits, cranberry juice, and apple sauce from my orthodontist's office.
Straws, one of those cups you refrigerate, soup, stuff to keep me entertained, etc. from my neighbor.
Flowers from a couple at church.
Balloons from other's at church.
My dry erase board from mi hermano.
Teddy bear, bag, and puzzle from a friend.
As far as today goes, I'm fairly happy. My pain has been pretty tolerable, but I can feel myself getting addicted to the Lortab already. I'm trying to cut back and only take it when something really hurts, but, as you can probably imagine, EVERYTHING HURTS!
Right now, all I want is to put something warm on face, but I'm only allowed to put ice on it. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to take some more pain killers!
I managed to eat some tomato soup this afternoon! This was made a ton easier by ditching my syringe for a plastic spoon and using a hand held mirror to see where my lips were.
I'm still drooling like crazy, but I've regained some feeling in my chin and lower lip, so it's dramatically decreased from Friday. I do miss my little suction tube I had at the hospital, though. It was just like that thing they use at the dentist's office to suck out your spit and stuff. They really should sell those at Wal-Mart or something.
One totally weird thing I wasn't expecting, is how oiley my face gets. I mean, I try to wash it but I can't really feel it, so I think I must not be doing a good job. My hair's also sticky from the tape they used to keep it out of my face and I can't seem to get all of it off. Maybe this calls for more pain medication...
A little while ago a friend called me asking if I wanted her to bring me a milkshake. Oh, I wish.
I wish, I wish, I wish I could use a straw. Unfortunatley though, my lips don't even come close to closing, or really even moving for that matter. No kidding, they're like big hard lumps that I can't do anything with. Like breast implants, but on my face.
Anyway, I'd say that overall today was a five. Not too great, not too bad. It lifted my spirits to hear that lots of people are following what write on here and have asked other people how I'm doing. Plus, my brother bought me a dry erase board so I'm communicating better than I was a few days ago.
All I want right now is a pizza. Or a hamburger. I'd even settle for a corndog, if I could just chew!
But right now, after experimenting with raspberry sherbet and ginger ale, it looks like I'm still stuck with Ensure. It tasted like diet chocolate and makes my mouth all gunky, but it's better than nothing.
And finally, today's pictures:
Sorry for the awful lighting; it's the best I can do right now.
Currently Reading: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens
Current Weight: 112.5 lbs
Current Task: Cleaning the blood out of my nose and off my teeth
I promised myself that this blog would be more than me just complaining, but I would like to start out by saying this is quite possibly the worst day of my entire life. I'm swollen; my ears, nose, and throat hurt; I'm bleeding and drooling; and I'm just generally uncomfortable.
Yesterday I got up at 4:00 a.m. and made it to the hospital around 5. Me and my mother went back to a room and I got in my purple gown for surgery. A lady injected me with Lidocaine and put in my IV and put this tube in my gown that made it all warm. I liked it.
At some point my dad came back and she taped up my hair in a towel.
My awesome pastor came by at around 6 and we all prayed together. Al Roker and Paula Dean were right across the street, too, so we watched them on T.V. a little while. A lady wheeled me out of the room and had me say goodbye to everybody, and I don't have a clue what happened after that. The next thing I remember was somebody putting me in a different gown and bed in recovery. Seriously, I don't even slightly remember anything else of the next few hours except going to the bathroom every five minutes and throwing up on myself. I got bloody vomit all over the bed too, so I got up for a few minutes. At some point I took this picture of myself.
My oh, so comfortable ice packs and oxygen mask.
It looks pretty bad right now, but my nose looks cuter and my chin is about half the size it was before the procedure. The rest of the day and night is really just a blur of waking up and falling back asleep a few times an hour. My nurse came in and started getting me ready at about 5:00 a.m. and we left the hospital at around 6. The ride home was pretty rough, but I survived.
Since then I've napped off and on and tried to take all my medicines, but I'm having trouble swallowing. My tongue is huge and it hurts my ears and head when I try to swallow. My antibiotics aren't too bad, but my Lortab really burns when it goes down. I'd been avoiding taking it, but finally my pain got bad enough that I started crying, which hurt worse than the burning medicine, so I eventually took it.
I would have to say that one of the worst parts about this is that my feeling is starting to come back in patches and those patches tingle and constantly feel wet, so that's very disorienting.
I guess that's all that I can think of right now, so here are my pictures from today.
My lovely attempt at a smile.
¡Hasta mañana!Currently Reading: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective TeensCurrent Weight:
113.3 lbsCurrent Tasks:
Trying to eat